The Futility of Regret
It is amazingly easy to desire to regret that which has come to pass, even if you are able to recognize that regret can in no way alter that which has already occurred. It is nothing more than inarguable logic to remind you that there is nothing that you can do to change what has happened. Yet still you, as well as I in so many ways, will likely find ourselves wanting to regret those situations, events and occurrences in which we had some role to play, regardless of whether we accomplished what we set out to achieve or if we failed (in our own minds and via our own system of measurement alone) to effect the change we wanted to see transpire. But the past is now a dead tomb of history, a situation now complete and an inaccessible part of our life that we cannot change no matter how much we might wish to be able to step backwards in time and redo what happened in some other way. What, then, is the utility of regret? It has none. Do not accept that regret offers to you anything that you actually want, for it does not. If you wish to reflect on what occurred and attempt to extract lessons, knowledge or wisdom from your memories, that process of recollection does have value, for you may be able to see more clearly what happened and why, generally when some amount of time and distance has separated you from the initial emotional state in which you dwelled at the time of the event you wish to regret.
Regret is akin to attempting to twist your head completely around backwards, trying to look behind you when the only direction in which you can progress in your life is forwards - always forwards. How likely are you to trip and fall on the bumps in the road of your life if you are looking directly behind you when you are continuing to walk forwards? Life is not lived from front to back. Life progresses towards ever greater levels of understanding, growth, transformation and expansion. Life does not move in reverse and neither should you. What do you hope to gain from moving in a direction that you cannot travel? Casting your gaze to the past and attempting to decipher the rationale that you employed when you made any particular decision has no value for you. You will merely be blinding yourself to the possibilities that lay in front of you while you steadfastly insist on believing that what has come to pass can in any way be altered. It cannot. As such, it is best to leave the past in the past where it belongs, accepting that it is now over and recognizing that while you cannot change it, you can learn from it if there is a lesson that you have not yet accepted in whatever it is that you wish to regret.
To regret is to deny the present in favor of the past, attempting to trade the great possibilities that each new day will bring in favor of the inalterable certainty of that which has already occurred. What is there to be gained from sacrificing the infinity of the present moment for the endless contemplation of the past? And do not accept that such contemplation will be anything other than endless, for only until you are ready to accept that you have considered all aspects of what has happened will you be willing to release the past into the past, allowing it to be buried with all of the time that has fallen behind you. Regrets will serve solely as anchors of emotional pain, tying the ship of your life to the bedrock of events that have found their conclusion and preventing you from leaving the harbor of the now completed moments of your life. You cannot hope to release the endless possibilities of the future if you insist that the past must still be pondered, endlessly considered or given even one iota of emotional energy.
Regret serves to bind in the darkness of days now concluded the infinite possibilities that can only be found in the future, for nothing that has transpired in the past has any ability to bind you now unless you are willing to give over your endlessly expansive ability to change, grow and improve to any thoughts of the past. Do not allow your memories to simply fade away, for they are in a very large part the absolute definition of who you are today and they should be cherished and respected. But do not allow your memories of mistakes, pain, loss, fear and poor choices to become the definition of who you are today, in this present moment, for you are not simply the sum total of all that has occurred. You are infinitely capable of growth, change and expansion. There is nothing that has happened that can in any way bind you to a set course or restrict your ability to discover a new and better path, method of living or mode of thinking that might have appeared to be impossible in the past.
Regrets are wishes for change that cannot be fulfilled, for within the totality of the past there is nothing that can be altered. But the future is the exact opposite of the past in this regard. The future remains forever open, free and completely undetermined, a vast field of possibilities in which you can dance and play, reveling in the infinite uncertainty that the future offers. The past is secure, for it is known and it cannot be changed. Regret looks backwards, asking for the past to have been different. But it cannot, for it is now over and it is no longer accessible to you. But the future is the time in which all that you regret can be understood and used as the fuel you will need to avoid past mistakes and poor choices, so that you can be freed from the past and ready to engage the future with an open heart and a clear mind.
Regret is akin to attempting to twist your head completely around backwards, trying to look behind you when the only direction in which you can progress in your life is forwards - always forwards. How likely are you to trip and fall on the bumps in the road of your life if you are looking directly behind you when you are continuing to walk forwards? Life is not lived from front to back. Life progresses towards ever greater levels of understanding, growth, transformation and expansion. Life does not move in reverse and neither should you. What do you hope to gain from moving in a direction that you cannot travel? Casting your gaze to the past and attempting to decipher the rationale that you employed when you made any particular decision has no value for you. You will merely be blinding yourself to the possibilities that lay in front of you while you steadfastly insist on believing that what has come to pass can in any way be altered. It cannot. As such, it is best to leave the past in the past where it belongs, accepting that it is now over and recognizing that while you cannot change it, you can learn from it if there is a lesson that you have not yet accepted in whatever it is that you wish to regret.
To regret is to deny the present in favor of the past, attempting to trade the great possibilities that each new day will bring in favor of the inalterable certainty of that which has already occurred. What is there to be gained from sacrificing the infinity of the present moment for the endless contemplation of the past? And do not accept that such contemplation will be anything other than endless, for only until you are ready to accept that you have considered all aspects of what has happened will you be willing to release the past into the past, allowing it to be buried with all of the time that has fallen behind you. Regrets will serve solely as anchors of emotional pain, tying the ship of your life to the bedrock of events that have found their conclusion and preventing you from leaving the harbor of the now completed moments of your life. You cannot hope to release the endless possibilities of the future if you insist that the past must still be pondered, endlessly considered or given even one iota of emotional energy.
Regret serves to bind in the darkness of days now concluded the infinite possibilities that can only be found in the future, for nothing that has transpired in the past has any ability to bind you now unless you are willing to give over your endlessly expansive ability to change, grow and improve to any thoughts of the past. Do not allow your memories to simply fade away, for they are in a very large part the absolute definition of who you are today and they should be cherished and respected. But do not allow your memories of mistakes, pain, loss, fear and poor choices to become the definition of who you are today, in this present moment, for you are not simply the sum total of all that has occurred. You are infinitely capable of growth, change and expansion. There is nothing that has happened that can in any way bind you to a set course or restrict your ability to discover a new and better path, method of living or mode of thinking that might have appeared to be impossible in the past.
Regrets are wishes for change that cannot be fulfilled, for within the totality of the past there is nothing that can be altered. But the future is the exact opposite of the past in this regard. The future remains forever open, free and completely undetermined, a vast field of possibilities in which you can dance and play, reveling in the infinite uncertainty that the future offers. The past is secure, for it is known and it cannot be changed. Regret looks backwards, asking for the past to have been different. But it cannot, for it is now over and it is no longer accessible to you. But the future is the time in which all that you regret can be understood and used as the fuel you will need to avoid past mistakes and poor choices, so that you can be freed from the past and ready to engage the future with an open heart and a clear mind.